GRAND FORKS, N.D. -- Nearly 25 years ago now, I was talking with my mother Maebel at her 100th birthday party.
What she told me startled me, and only now, a quarter of a century later, have I come to understand what she was saying.
"I've lived long enough,'' she told me. "It's too lonely for me now.''
Her comment surprised me. I visited her often, though she lived 300-plus miles from me. So did my only sibling, sister Carol, who lived an hour away and saw her far more frequently. And when I drove to Northfield, Minn., to see Mom, I'd often find a cousin or two sitting in her room, visiting with her.
My mother was the last living child of a family of nine kids. Her memory was sharp well past 100 (she lived to be nearly 104), so my cousins would go see her, since it was their only connection to their parents, the brothers and sisters of my mom.
She explained that life felt lonely to her, since her parents, all her siblings, all her friends from days of her youth and adulthood, were gone now, deceased. She had nobody left to share memories of those days with.
With the sudden passing of former UND hockey player and radio and TV announcer Travis Dunn last week, at just 65, it brought home my mother's comments, of how life can change in a not so pleasant way as we age.
I've known Travis Dunn since 1976, when he arrived on UND's campus from Winnipeg without a scholarship, to try out for the UND hockey team. It took him two years to make the varsity team, but he did. He was never a star, but he finished his career in 1980 with an NCAA championship ring on his finger, and he was so proud and honored to have that.
Perhaps his passing hit me quite hard because he stayed connected to UND hockey for the good part of his life since college. He was here as a broadcaster, a talk show host, a fan, and a humble, kind, caring young man who made his living in this area, so he was around often.
I have been connected to UND hockey as a writer in some capacity for 53 years now, 35 of them at the Grand Forks Herald, and now in my 18th year writing for UND's athletic website.
And as my mother talked about on her 100th birthday, I feel that sense of loss, an irreplaceable loss, with the passing of young men like Travis Dunn.
He isn't the first UND hockey player that I have reported on who has died since my coverage began in 1969. I can think of players like Scott Brower, Chad Johnson, Greg Johnson, Scott Dub and Perry Nakonechny, who are no longer with us. And I always will fondly remember the goodness and inner beauty of Tootsie Gasparini, the late wife of former UND coach Gino Gasparini.
There are others connected to UND hockey, I am sure, who are now gone, names that do not readily come to mind as I write this. Their passing leaves a loneliness in my heart, just as my mother talked about.
It just isn't through athletics that those losses are felt. The four men who I would consider my all-time best friends, beginning with high school and college and extending into work life here in Grand Forks, are all gone now. New friendships have sprung forth, or been enhanced, but those shared bonds, shared memories, over all those years, can't be replaced.
On the other hand, we all can feel blessed to have those relationships, deep friendships, in our lives. There's an emptiness without them, but also a deep bank of memories, of thankfulness, for the roles they have played in our lives. They made life good.
So as Travis is laid to rest in Fargo, I can say blessed be his memory. I say the same of close friends and former UND players who have gone on ahead as well. Let's plan to meet on the other side some day.
Hawk-ey Talk with Virg Foss is a new weekly column about North Dakota hockey by longtime writer Virg Foss. Foss covered UND hockey for 35 seasons for the Grand Forks Herald, including 5 NCAA title teams, before his retirement. Since his retirement, he's written about UND hockey exclusively for FightingHawks.com. This marks his 53rd season since he began covering UND hockey in 1969.
